Discombobulate: To upset or confuse.
Grandma was discombobulated by all the birthday fuss.
Discombobulate is a good word to describe me right now. Each day involves me trying to tackle cleaning, office work, training, working out, cooking, marketing, more cleaning, shopping (for kennel stuff or food, not clothes or anything fun), and socializing. I find that whenever I try to tackle any one thing I get pulled into fifteen other things, and I never have a chance to just focus my mind.
Honestly, I think that's why I love running so much. Running has always been my chance to focus on me. Sure, other things would go through my mind, but they were often quickly pushed away by my next breath. I miss running, and I miss the peace of mind it brings.
I actually tried running this evening; just a mile on the treadmill, but something to make me feel good. My foot did OK, but I'm out of shape. I could feel the lack of support from my core and legs, and I became winded quickly. I'd like to wake up early for a great total-body workout, but as my husband just pointed out there just might not be enough time in the day.
I know a good workout that leaves me happy and refreshed will help me focus better. I know that just a little more focus will allow me to accomplish tasks easier, which will help me feel less discombobulated. I also know that trying to factor in one more thing right now seems so overwhelming.
It really does amaze me, though. Two months ago I was running 13 miles before work, and then cleaning and working all day. Sure, food and house cleaning may have suffered, but I seemed to be OK. I felt good, and for the most part I felt like things were together. Now, not so much, but I'm working on it.
Things aren't all bad, though. The kennel is going gangbusters, and I couldn't be happier about it. Hans and I have figured out a few personal things, and that's great too. Things may not be all sunshine and roses, but they also aren't all grey clouds and rain. I may just have a couple of rainbows in there too.
Right now, I'm trying to find my focus. I'm trying to remotivate myself. I'm trying to bring some much-needed order in my life. And if anyone would like to help, I'm taking applications.