Monday, February 25, 2013

In The World, There Is Balance

Have I ever told y'all of my belief that everything balances out?  When I was in high school, and I had a really crap day, I would often console myself by saying that the next day would be better because it had to balance out the bad one.  More often than not, this would prove to be true.  Honestly, I'm not so sure whether this belief was a self-fulfilling prophesy or rather just an observation made over time, but it was true 99.9% of the time.  A bad day or bad week was often followed by a good day or good week.

As I grew older, I started to forget this belief.  A string of bad days turned into a string of bad weeks, which turned into a string of bad months, which finally became a string of bad years.  Sure, there were some good things which happened in those weeks and months and years, but generally it wasn't anything to balance out the crap that I was feeling or going through.  So, over time, I forgot about my rule of balance.  A day was merely the luck of the draw and was sometimes influenced by hard work.  However, hard work could be easily negated by illness or misfortune, or just someone's crappy attitude.

And today, I'm trying very hard to remember this rule of balance.  You see, today has been utter crap.  Not just the 'I haven't slept enough, so I'm in a bad mood' kind of crap, but rather the 'I haven't slept enough, so I'm in a bad mood, and I'm dealing with multiple tax and legal issues, all of which are due to stupid errors and aren't my fault, but that I still have to deal with' kind of crap.  Really, in the long run, this will mean nothing, but it's really been a shitty day.  So, it would be really difficult to remember my rule of balance if it weren't for one thing: Yesterday was fabulous.

Yesterday, Hans and I had a real day off.  Not a day off where we still have to take care of foster dogs.  Not a day off where you're visiting family and have family activities planned (no offense to family, but that can be exhausting).  Not a day off where you only work the morning, but have off the rest of the day.  No.  We had a true, honest-to-goodness day off where we slept until 10:30, only did things we wanted to do, slept some more, and enjoyed time with friends.  It's the best day I've had in almost 3 years.

So, of course today had to be kind of crappy.  Yesterday was too good to not have something to balance it out.  Maybe tomorrow things will be good again.  Who knows?  All I know is that I'm kind of happy to have remembered my rule of balance, and I look forward to more good days in the future (somehow they help me to forget about the bad days).

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


Today is not a good day for me.  Today I feel awful.  It all started on Friday.

Hans came to the kennel and asked me to feel his forehead.  He said he felt feverish.  Sure enough, he was running a fever, and when we took his temperature the thermometer read 101.  So, Friday night was spent caring for him and hoping he felt better on Saturday.

Saturday morning, when we woke up, he still had a fever, so it was back to bed for him and off to work for me.  While Friday was a beautiful, sunny day though, Saturday was a wet, cold, snowy mess.  By the time I got home from work, I was stiff, sore, and had a slightly scratchy throat.  After making sure Hans had dinner and dishes were put up, I crawled into bed and somewhat appreciated the fact that my husband's body temperature was slightly higher than usual, as it kept me warm.

When I woke up on Sunday, I had a harder time going through the motions.  I didn't wake up as easily, and my sinuses were definitely an issue.  After work, church, and some errands, I came home around 2:30, crawled into bed, and didn't leave until yesterday morning.

Yesterday was the test day.  I would either get better or I'd get worse.

Today, I'm worse.

I'm supremely tired, my throat hurts, my chest hurts, my nose hurts.  I want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and sleep.  Alas, I am no longer 5, and I have to work.  :(

There are things I've noticed about myself when I'm sick, though.

1) Any part of my body that has ever been injured will hurt.  This includes the knee I fell on in 8th grade and the toe I broke when I was 17.  They just seem to flare up and say, "Hi!  We're here."

2) I get really hungry.  I crave carbs mainly.  I can also often get away with raisins as a healthier alternative, but when I'm really hungry I want bread.  At the beginning, I often want ice cream or hot chocolate as well.

3) I'm much more irritable.  I think this is normal for most sick people, and for me I chalk it up to the fact that I'm cold, tired, and feel like poopers!

Really, I just get fussy.  I revert back to the 5 year old who just wants to lie on the couch and sleep all day.  Please???  Can someone let me do that???

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Ash Wednesday

Good morning!

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  It's a time of solemnity and prayer.  It's a time of sacrifice and reflection.  It's a time when we try to better ourselves, purify ourselves, in preparation for the coming of Jesus. 

Often during this time, people will give something up.  Generally, this is something like chocolate, soda, fried foods, cable, internet, etc.  Last year I gave up Facebook.  As always, I will be following the Catholic tradition of no-meat Fridays.  I don't know how or why that started, but it's my excuse to eat fish, and I'm taking it.  The focus of Lent for me this year, though, is to simply take care of myself.

In 2012 I saw some wonderful and awesome changes.  My business expanded, I ran a marathon, I achieved goals that I almost thought would never happen.  It was amazing.  However, I also sacrificed a lot.  Cooking at home was almost non-existent because of lack of time.  I wasn't getting enough sleep and was constantly tired.  The house was a wreck because I never had time to clean.  Finally, I think my body said, "ENOUGH!"  Shortly after Christmas, I ended up with that horrible stress fracture.

So, for the first few weeks I tried to work through it.  I swam at the gym, I rode my bike, I still woke up early to workout.  However, because neither swimming nor cycling gave me the satisfaction that running did, I felt even more tired and more defeated.  I found myself eating even more partially due to some injury-related depression, and partially because I was so tired I felt like I needed constant fueling.  Somewhere, something had to change.

So, here's the deal.  For Lent, before doing anything I will ask myself, "Is this best for me?"  Before waking up at 4:00 a.m. so I can get to the gym by 5:00 so I can be at work by 7:00 and work until 9:30 at night I will ask, "Is this best for me?"  Will missing this one work out hurt me, or would it be better if I slept an extra hour and had a healthy breakfast?  Before heading to Qdoba because it's been a long day and I just don't feel like anything else, I will ask, "Is this best for me?"  Is it better to grab the quick meal so I can just go home and sleep, or should I head home, prepare something simple and enjoy the healthier meal at home?

I will allow my body time to heal.  I will try to find more balance in my life.  I will try to spend time doing fun things with my family, but I will also try to find time to sleep.  Yes, I want to work out, but maybe I don't need to go 5 days a week.  Yes I want to eat healthy, but maybe healthy doesn't have to mean something that takes 2 hours to prepare.  Maybe I will be well-rested enough to focus more at work.  Maybe I will be able to get a decent night's sleep and not feel so burnt out in the morning.

Trust me, when I'm able to run again I will, but maybe I'll take it a little easier.  Maybe I won't run 3 marathons in a year (not yet anyway).  Maybe I'll just stick to one.  Somehow, I need a little more balance.  Somehow I need to take care of me.

So, that's the focus of Lent for me this year.  Take care of myself, so I can take care of everything else. 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Catching Up

Hey all!  Sorry I've been MIA for a few weeks.  Things have been hectic around here.  So, I'm just going to take this post to try and fill you in a bit.  Here's the important stuff:

-  Things have been going very well at the kennel.  I've been keeping busy with training clients, and there has been lots going on in daycare.  Boarding and Grooming are starting to find their place, and I'm actually starting to feel really secure about things.  Holy cow, guys!!  My business is really succeeding!!

-  My foot is healing...slowly.  It had been feeling so good, in fact, that today I decided to head to the gym to try running on a treadmill.  I figured starting on a soft surface would be good, and I decided that a mile would be a good goal.  I got my mile in, and it felt great, but now my foot is hurting again.  :(  It's not as bad as it was, and it will probably feel better tomorrow, but it looks like I still have some healing time left. 

-  In the mean time, I'm trying to find new ways of working out that thrill me as much as running.  So far, though, the fact of the matter is that I just love running more than anything else.  That 1 mile that I ran earlier made me feel better than anything else has.  On top of that, I'm trying to find something that I can do with Cody.  Luckily, I own a doggy day care, so that's at least keeping him tired.

-  Last week, the neighbors went out of town.  We took them to the airport and watched their dogs, so they let us use their car for the week.  You know what I learned?  I really miss having a second car!  I'm actually kind of hoping that this encourages me to start biking to work more, but that gets difficult with the dogs.  Oh well!  Some day I'll figure things out!

Other than those things, life has been same old same old.  I know.  I'm not very exciting.  I go to bed early, get up early, and work all day.  I feel like a farmer.  :)  Hopefully I can find more things to talk about, and I'm sorry I've been neglecting my blog.  I will get better!