I don't like my body.
There. I've said it. I don't like my body.
And yet, why? Why don't I like it? What has it ever done to me? It's carried me through a marathon, it allows me to lift 50 lb of dog food (and Cody and Lollie). I'm healthy enough to bike / run / or walk to work if my car fails me. I have decent vision, and I'm relatively low on back problems. All in all, my body had been pretty darn good to me. And yet, I can't seem to just appreciate it and love it. Why is that?
This morning, I woke up at 4:30 to go for a run. I had also gone for a 5 mile run on Monday, spent two hours mowing the lawn on Tuesday, and had run 2.3 miles yesterday. Today, I really wanted to sleep, but I knew that I "needed" to work out. As I put on my running clothes, I cursed my thighs which are slightly larger than last year and my belly which was tighter on my shirt than last year. When I got the text from my running buddy that she wouldn't be able to make it, I was kind of happy...not because I could go back to sleep, but I could do a different work out; one with stomach crunches and push ups and all sorts of really difficult things. I was exhausted, I wanted nothing more than to sleep for at least another 30 minutes, my body was already sore, and yet I felt it necessary to go work out again.
Well, needless to say, the workout didn't go well. I started with a slow jog on a fitness path. My quads were tired and my shins hurt. I made it to station 1 where I was going to do some core work. My hands and arms could barely hold on to the bar. I went to station 2, where I did some lunges and balance exercises. My balance was poor at best. Exercises that a year or two ago were somewhat easy seemed so difficult. I felt like I was moving through a fog. I went to station 3, where I planned to practice some wall jumps. I started to jump one time, made it half way over, started to lose my balance, and my jump turned into more of a crawl / shimmy over. Yeah, I wasn't going to repeat that. I decided I'd just run the rest of the course. I made it to the next bend in the course, cut across the field, and walked back to my car. I got home and planned to do some yoga to help me relax. I sat on my yoga mat, then laid back, and then rolled over to fall asleep. The dogs licking my face is pretty much the only thing that kept me awake (luckily they love yoga time).
I was mad at myself for not doing a good workout, but I was also kind of concerned. Somewhere along the way I've lost any sort of balance in my life. The kennel takes up 95% of my time. When I'm not here, I'm either at home cleaning or I'm sleeping. I'm getting much better about not eating out, but that often means that my meals consist of a Cliff bar, fruit and milk, or soup, fruit, and crackers. Thank God for toaster oven meals, too. I enjoy running and the runs I did Monday and Wednesday were mainly for the sheer joy of running, but I need some balance in there too. I need to do more than just run, but I don't want to cut any of my running days, and I can't really take any extra time out of my day to more on top of the run.
Ideally, I'd work normal hours. I'd be here from 8am-5pm with only 1 or 2 night shifts a week; as opposed to my current schedule which is often 6am-10pm with 1 or 2 mornings off a week. To have two full days off a week (like a weekend) would be almost more than I could hope for. Alas, I don't think that schedule will happen any time soon. I'm going to have to find balance in my life while I still work 80 hour weeks. Maybe I need to sacrifice a run for some yoga. Maybe I just need to take some time to meditate each day. I'm not sure yet. What I do know, though, is that something needs to change.
I need to take the time to appreciate what my body CAN do, rather than complain about what it can't.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Staying Strong
Life has been really stressful lately. I haven't been getting enough sleep, if I have a "home"-cooked meal it's generally made in the toaster oven at work, and work in general seems to be never-ending. Ah, the life of a business owner. The good news is that work is, in fact, going well. I currently have one big stress hanging over my head, but even that has been offset by a lot of good dogs, good clients, and good weather, so there's not much complaining there. Still, though, life has not been the easiest.
As you probably already know, I tend to alleviate stress by running. Sometimes swimming or biking will help too, but they're better as add-ons to the running, and lately I've been running a lot. I've been running a little longer or a little faster, and it generally feels good, but sometimes all it feels is painful. Sometimes I lose sight of just how tired I am or just how hot it is, and instead of becoming this wonderful, blissful run where I finish feeling great about myself, it ends up becoming some horrible struggle to simply stay alive. My face is beet red, my arms are flailing about, my legs want to collapse in on themselves, and it's all I can do to just keep moving forward, hoping I can make it home without having to call Hans to come pick me up. Yesterday was one of those days.
I went out later than usual with the hopes of going a little farther than usual. I wanted a nice, slow run that left me feeling good about the distance and decent about the pace. What I got was really, really tired. Going out later meant it was hotter than usual, and the fact of the matter was that I was already physically tired. Less than half a mile into the run I realized how much harder this run was going to be than I'd planned, but I continued on. Three miles into the run, I decided to cut my run short, changed my loop, and slowed to walk for a few blocks. In the end, I'd run 6 miles instead of 8, and I held a 12:15 pace instead of 10:30 like I'd hoped. This pace is probably because I walked the last mile. I just couldn't seem to propel myself forward anymore. When I got back to the house, I immediately had some water. I was SO thirsty, even though I'd finished all the water in my fuel belt (Note: I generally don't need any water for a 6 mile run, so two bottles plus a glass is a lot). I stretched out a little, had some breakfast, and pretty much collapsed on the floor for a few minutes while I let the dogs give me kisses (they like salty skin).
I should have felt miserable about that run. Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled about it, but I certainly did not feel miserable. I was tired and hungry, but not miserable or upset. The fact of the matter is, I still ran. Ironically, shortly after that run, I read this article in Runner's World. It talks about how running helps you find who you really are, because when you're that tired there's nothing left but the true you. And you know, I can't help but agree. When I'm that tired, I don't care about how I look or what's stressing me. I just care about finishing and recuperating.
On top of that, I can feel awful during a run and hate the run, but when I'm done running I generally just want to get back out and run again. And that's great about running too. No matter how awful one run is, I know it's just one run. Throughout the run, I could be fighting negative thoughts. Thoughts that say how fat I am or how terrible I look when I run, but at the end of the run I can still say I ran. I can still say that I overcame those negative thoughts and did what I had to do. And that makes me feel good. It makes me feel good enough to bike to work the morning after a bad run. It makes me feel good enough to pack my gym clothes so I can go for a swim. It makes me feel good enough to plan my next run. It helps me to stay strong, and that carries me through the stressful days as well. So, here's to running!
As you probably already know, I tend to alleviate stress by running. Sometimes swimming or biking will help too, but they're better as add-ons to the running, and lately I've been running a lot. I've been running a little longer or a little faster, and it generally feels good, but sometimes all it feels is painful. Sometimes I lose sight of just how tired I am or just how hot it is, and instead of becoming this wonderful, blissful run where I finish feeling great about myself, it ends up becoming some horrible struggle to simply stay alive. My face is beet red, my arms are flailing about, my legs want to collapse in on themselves, and it's all I can do to just keep moving forward, hoping I can make it home without having to call Hans to come pick me up. Yesterday was one of those days.
I went out later than usual with the hopes of going a little farther than usual. I wanted a nice, slow run that left me feeling good about the distance and decent about the pace. What I got was really, really tired. Going out later meant it was hotter than usual, and the fact of the matter was that I was already physically tired. Less than half a mile into the run I realized how much harder this run was going to be than I'd planned, but I continued on. Three miles into the run, I decided to cut my run short, changed my loop, and slowed to walk for a few blocks. In the end, I'd run 6 miles instead of 8, and I held a 12:15 pace instead of 10:30 like I'd hoped. This pace is probably because I walked the last mile. I just couldn't seem to propel myself forward anymore. When I got back to the house, I immediately had some water. I was SO thirsty, even though I'd finished all the water in my fuel belt (Note: I generally don't need any water for a 6 mile run, so two bottles plus a glass is a lot). I stretched out a little, had some breakfast, and pretty much collapsed on the floor for a few minutes while I let the dogs give me kisses (they like salty skin).
I should have felt miserable about that run. Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled about it, but I certainly did not feel miserable. I was tired and hungry, but not miserable or upset. The fact of the matter is, I still ran. Ironically, shortly after that run, I read this article in Runner's World. It talks about how running helps you find who you really are, because when you're that tired there's nothing left but the true you. And you know, I can't help but agree. When I'm that tired, I don't care about how I look or what's stressing me. I just care about finishing and recuperating.
On top of that, I can feel awful during a run and hate the run, but when I'm done running I generally just want to get back out and run again. And that's great about running too. No matter how awful one run is, I know it's just one run. Throughout the run, I could be fighting negative thoughts. Thoughts that say how fat I am or how terrible I look when I run, but at the end of the run I can still say I ran. I can still say that I overcame those negative thoughts and did what I had to do. And that makes me feel good. It makes me feel good enough to bike to work the morning after a bad run. It makes me feel good enough to pack my gym clothes so I can go for a swim. It makes me feel good enough to plan my next run. It helps me to stay strong, and that carries me through the stressful days as well. So, here's to running!
Monday, May 6, 2013
I'm Still Alive, I Promise!
Sorry I've been gone for so long! I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how crazy life has been. Some of it has been good, some of it has been bad, but all of it has been keeping us busy. Let's see, where should I begin? Well, since my last post I:
Took a trip to NJ / NY
Geneva (the groomer) and I took Cody up to NJ for a grooming competition. We turned my fluffernutter Labradoodle into a shaved Airedale. Talk about a transformation. It's the first time he's ever had a shaved head or tail, and it's throwing me for a loop. My biggest issue right now, though, is that I can't decide which version I like best. Thoughts?
After the competition we also ventured into the city where I proceeded to get us thoroughly (and embarrassingly) lost on the subway system. Oops! I was, however, able to get us some delicious bagels from my FAVORITE bagel shop. Oh, and when we finally left, we decided to stop at a random outlet mall for some shopping. That was a blast! I have the feeling I'll make that trip again some time.
On Monday, it was back to work, but I was still recuperating from the trip, so getting back into the swing of things took some hard work. I was exhausted, and I found that I would randomly fall asleep given the slightest opportunity (e.g On a dog bed on the floor of the kennel).
Ran a social race.
Luckily, by Thursday of that week I was feeling a bit better, because I had signed up for a 4-mile run hosted by a local brewery. I'm not a huge fan of beer, and I prefer smaller, more intimate events to the big, crowded, beer-centric events, so I was supremely nervous about this one, but I have to say it was a lot of fun. I met up with a running buddy there, and we just took it at a nice, easy jog. Afterwards we chatted, had a beer, and ate tacos. I would happily do it again!
Ran a trail run.
Well, the same running buddy from the 4-miler also asked if I'd like to participate in a relay marathon for Project Athena. Apparently, someone from their team had backed out and they needed a 4th. Sure! Why not?! Well, I'll tell you why not. That was one of the HARDEST 6.5 miles I have EVER run. I was expecting a road run with possibly some mild trails. What I got was 1.5 miles along a hot road followed by rock climbing, steep hills, and lots of inch worms. Add to it that I ran the last leg, so I wasn't out until 11:00 a.m. and it was a very sunny day, and you'll get a very tired Valerie. Oh well, I still had a blast, and I got to meet some pretty great people too!
Finally life started to settle down a little bit, but I have also had some extremely stressful things happening (I'll talk about them later). So, there were a lot of tears, a bit of yelling, and a general feeling of just wanting to crawl under the covers and go to sleep...which I did a little...only on the dog bed on the floor of the kennel (I'm tellin' ya, I'm here all the time!). Hans has been a great support through everything, and is a good man for taking all my yelling like he has. I hope I can some day repay him.
Well, there's one last thing I've done since my last post and that was yesterday. Yesterday I...
Set a PR on a 10k!
One of the things I've lamented most about my injury was how much it set me back in training. I was just gaining speed, and I was starting to see some significant weight loss, but that injury set me back to 12 minute miles and made me gain about 10 pounds. This is not a good thing, so I've been working hard at getting back to my old pace.
I wasn't too far off my previous PR of 10:24 min/mile, set during my first 10k, when I ran the Monument Avenue with a pace of 10:30 min/mile. However, I really wasn't seeing much improvement. I could push really hard some mornings and turn out almost 10:00 min miles with a friend, but other mornings I struggled just to keep an 11:00 min mile. I knew a lot of it was dependent on sleep and the previous day's labors, but it was frustrating to say the least.
Anyway, I wasn't sure what to expect with yesterday's 10k, the Carytown 10k. I was going to try to run with a buddy, but she was hoping to set her own PR of 9:45 and I had not run that at all yet, so I figured I'd just see what I could do. I knew that if I started with her, there was the possibility that I'd peter out too early, but I also knew that if I didn't start with her there would be no way I would keep a decent pace. So, I started with her.
Unfortunately, I had to let her break away before mile 2. I knew I couldn't hold her pace, and it was foolish to try. We had started out too fast (often below 9:45), and I couldn't run fast and talk with her anyway. So, I had to let her go. It wasn't too long, however, before I realized that I did stand a chance at setting my own PR, but more than that. I stood a chance of finishing with a pace under 10 minutes.
I pushed hard, and there were times I wanted to quit, but I persevered. At one point, I felt like I was going to vomit. I could feel it at the back of my throat, but I continued on. In fact, this race also helped me to make a huge decision about something, but that's another story. When I crossed the finish line, tired and sweaty, feeling like I could collapse, I stopped my watch and looked at my time. I saw this:
Apparently, I was only about a minute behind my running buddy, and a minute off from my goal of an hour. I'm so close! This is a very, very big deal, and it was just the victory I needed to start my week off right.
Now, I'm preparing for a lesson, and I'm gearing myself up for some pretty big stuff, but I've had a huge confidence boost. If I can do that, I can do anything.
Took a trip to NJ / NY
Geneva (the groomer) and I took Cody up to NJ for a grooming competition. We turned my fluffernutter Labradoodle into a shaved Airedale. Talk about a transformation. It's the first time he's ever had a shaved head or tail, and it's throwing me for a loop. My biggest issue right now, though, is that I can't decide which version I like best. Thoughts?
 |
| Before |
 | ||
| After |
On Monday, it was back to work, but I was still recuperating from the trip, so getting back into the swing of things took some hard work. I was exhausted, and I found that I would randomly fall asleep given the slightest opportunity (e.g On a dog bed on the floor of the kennel).
Ran a social race.
Luckily, by Thursday of that week I was feeling a bit better, because I had signed up for a 4-mile run hosted by a local brewery. I'm not a huge fan of beer, and I prefer smaller, more intimate events to the big, crowded, beer-centric events, so I was supremely nervous about this one, but I have to say it was a lot of fun. I met up with a running buddy there, and we just took it at a nice, easy jog. Afterwards we chatted, had a beer, and ate tacos. I would happily do it again!
Ran a trail run.
Well, the same running buddy from the 4-miler also asked if I'd like to participate in a relay marathon for Project Athena. Apparently, someone from their team had backed out and they needed a 4th. Sure! Why not?! Well, I'll tell you why not. That was one of the HARDEST 6.5 miles I have EVER run. I was expecting a road run with possibly some mild trails. What I got was 1.5 miles along a hot road followed by rock climbing, steep hills, and lots of inch worms. Add to it that I ran the last leg, so I wasn't out until 11:00 a.m. and it was a very sunny day, and you'll get a very tired Valerie. Oh well, I still had a blast, and I got to meet some pretty great people too!
 | ||
| All smiles after the race. |
Well, there's one last thing I've done since my last post and that was yesterday. Yesterday I...
Set a PR on a 10k!
One of the things I've lamented most about my injury was how much it set me back in training. I was just gaining speed, and I was starting to see some significant weight loss, but that injury set me back to 12 minute miles and made me gain about 10 pounds. This is not a good thing, so I've been working hard at getting back to my old pace.
I wasn't too far off my previous PR of 10:24 min/mile, set during my first 10k, when I ran the Monument Avenue with a pace of 10:30 min/mile. However, I really wasn't seeing much improvement. I could push really hard some mornings and turn out almost 10:00 min miles with a friend, but other mornings I struggled just to keep an 11:00 min mile. I knew a lot of it was dependent on sleep and the previous day's labors, but it was frustrating to say the least.
Anyway, I wasn't sure what to expect with yesterday's 10k, the Carytown 10k. I was going to try to run with a buddy, but she was hoping to set her own PR of 9:45 and I had not run that at all yet, so I figured I'd just see what I could do. I knew that if I started with her, there was the possibility that I'd peter out too early, but I also knew that if I didn't start with her there would be no way I would keep a decent pace. So, I started with her.
Unfortunately, I had to let her break away before mile 2. I knew I couldn't hold her pace, and it was foolish to try. We had started out too fast (often below 9:45), and I couldn't run fast and talk with her anyway. So, I had to let her go. It wasn't too long, however, before I realized that I did stand a chance at setting my own PR, but more than that. I stood a chance of finishing with a pace under 10 minutes.
I pushed hard, and there were times I wanted to quit, but I persevered. At one point, I felt like I was going to vomit. I could feel it at the back of my throat, but I continued on. In fact, this race also helped me to make a huge decision about something, but that's another story. When I crossed the finish line, tired and sweaty, feeling like I could collapse, I stopped my watch and looked at my time. I saw this:
 |
| I held a 9:46 pace!!!!!!!! |
Now, I'm preparing for a lesson, and I'm gearing myself up for some pretty big stuff, but I've had a huge confidence boost. If I can do that, I can do anything.
 |
| Me, post 10k. Sweaty, way past red in the face, but happy. Yay! |
Monday, April 15, 2013
Boston
Today has been a rough day.
Even writing that, though, makes me feel guilty. Compared to so many today I've had it easy. I had lunch with a friend. I tried a new restaurant. I got to spend time with my husband, and I'm currently sitting in bed, waiting for laundry to go in the dryer, and writing a blog post. All of my dearest friends and family are safe and are nearby. So many people cannot say that today, and I feel awful about that.
Today has been stressful for me. My lunch with my friend was enjoyable, but it did not happen for a good reason. There are things going on that I can't quite talk about, but they've left me feeling wound up and anxious. Then, shortly after the lunch, Mom called to tell me about the events in Boston.
Two years ago, that news would have made me sad, but I don't think my heart would have ended up in my throat. Two years ago I wouldn't have felt my stomach drop. Two years ago, I wouldn't have become so ill over it. Two years ago, even a year ago, I hadn't run a marathon.
A year ago, I couldn't even fathom the amount of pain, both mental and physical, that goes into running that sort of distance. I had no idea the joy that seeing that finish line brought. I couldn't imagine the sort of inspiration the cheering crowds could bring. Now, however, it's a different story.
After running for 4 hours, your body is past exhaustion. You want nothing more than to lie down. Your feet hurt, your legs hurt, your back and head hurt. You look to the cheering crowds and hope that someone will carry you to the finish, and with their cheers they do.
When you see the finish line, your heart swells with pride. You've accomplished something huge. You have more faith in yourself than you ever had before. You feel invincible. You're a super hero.
That was ripped away from many people today.
And what of those who hadn't finished? What about the people, like myself, who run closer to a 5 hour marathon? Luckily, it probably wasn't their first-ever marathon, but it may have been their first time a Boston, a huge feat in and of itself. How must they feel, knowing they never got to truly finish? How must they feel knowing their was nothing they could do to help? I can't even imagine their pain.
Today was a stressful day for me, but I'll get through it. Some people won't.
After today, no one in Boston will be the same. Some finished a marathon and felt invincible before realizing that they were still only human. Some weren't even able to achieve that goal. Either way, their lives will never be the same.
My heart goes out to Boston.
Even writing that, though, makes me feel guilty. Compared to so many today I've had it easy. I had lunch with a friend. I tried a new restaurant. I got to spend time with my husband, and I'm currently sitting in bed, waiting for laundry to go in the dryer, and writing a blog post. All of my dearest friends and family are safe and are nearby. So many people cannot say that today, and I feel awful about that.
Today has been stressful for me. My lunch with my friend was enjoyable, but it did not happen for a good reason. There are things going on that I can't quite talk about, but they've left me feeling wound up and anxious. Then, shortly after the lunch, Mom called to tell me about the events in Boston.
Two years ago, that news would have made me sad, but I don't think my heart would have ended up in my throat. Two years ago I wouldn't have felt my stomach drop. Two years ago, I wouldn't have become so ill over it. Two years ago, even a year ago, I hadn't run a marathon.
A year ago, I couldn't even fathom the amount of pain, both mental and physical, that goes into running that sort of distance. I had no idea the joy that seeing that finish line brought. I couldn't imagine the sort of inspiration the cheering crowds could bring. Now, however, it's a different story.
After running for 4 hours, your body is past exhaustion. You want nothing more than to lie down. Your feet hurt, your legs hurt, your back and head hurt. You look to the cheering crowds and hope that someone will carry you to the finish, and with their cheers they do.
When you see the finish line, your heart swells with pride. You've accomplished something huge. You have more faith in yourself than you ever had before. You feel invincible. You're a super hero.
That was ripped away from many people today.
And what of those who hadn't finished? What about the people, like myself, who run closer to a 5 hour marathon? Luckily, it probably wasn't their first-ever marathon, but it may have been their first time a Boston, a huge feat in and of itself. How must they feel, knowing they never got to truly finish? How must they feel knowing their was nothing they could do to help? I can't even imagine their pain.
Today was a stressful day for me, but I'll get through it. Some people won't.
After today, no one in Boston will be the same. Some finished a marathon and felt invincible before realizing that they were still only human. Some weren't even able to achieve that goal. Either way, their lives will never be the same.
My heart goes out to Boston.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
A Breath For The Soul
Yesterday was not a normal day for me. I had plans. Big plans.
To start things off, I actually had the day off. I didn't have a pack walk to lead or a training appointment. I didn't have any real obligations, so the first thing I did was a race! I signed up for the Monument Avenue 10k back in February when I figured I'd be completely healed fairly soon. Unfortunately, healing took longer than expected, and it was a bit of a scramble to get ready for it so quickly.
If you remember, I first ran the Monument Ave 10k last year, and it was my first official 10k ever. I was so proud of how well I'd done that I actually signed up for the marathon training team that very night. So, yeah. It was kind of a big deal. Originally, my goal was to try and run it in under 60 minutes, but by the middle of March I figured that probably wasn't going to happen. So, then I hoped to run it in the same amount of time as last year, 64:18. I was close at 65:23, but no cigar. Still, I'm happy with my time, as there were a few factors going into this race that slowed me down. First, I hadn't trained nearly as much. The farthest I'd run since January was 4-5 miles. Second, I'm a little heavier than I was last year. Not much, but it was enough to slow me down. Third, and this is the real kicker, was the heat. I was doing fine until about mile 4 when I was suddenly running in full sun. I had to slow down just because I thought I was going to be sick. All in all, though, a good race.
The race, however, is not what made it a great day. It's what Hans and I did after that made it so wonderful. Hans and I very rarely have a chance to escape the city. On the days where we're lucky enough to have off, we usually try to sleep and recuperate a little, but this day was different. This day, I wanted to do something fun. I wanted to escape the crowds and the noise. I wanted to take the chance to just breathe. So, we loaded the dogs in the car and drove up to our favorite spot in the mountains.
There were a few more people than I would have liked, but other than that it was just perfect. The trail was fairly quiet, the water was at a perfect level, and the weather was perfect. We hiked to our favorite spots and let the dogs play in the water. Lollie even took a moment to get her paws wet, which is a huge feat for this bulldog. Then we looked at the time, decided we had plenty of daylight left, and continued upward. We didn't go much farther, but it was just enough to make us happy and to tire out the pups.
In the end, we hiked a total of 4 miles (which means I'm pretty sure Cody did 8 from all the back and forth he was doing), and we had some stunning views. Unfortunately I left my camera in the car, so I don't have any pictures, but somehow I think that's preferable. A photo wouldn't do it justice.
Afterwards, we stopped at a small pizza place we'd been wanting to try for a while. It was quite good and the perfect end to a lovely day.
Really, though, the best part about yesterday was the fact that we took the time to do something for ourselves. Sure there was housework to do. Sure we could have used the rest. But doing housework or sleeping wouldn't have left us nearly as happy as what we ended up being after that hike. I can't wait until we have the chance to go back. Maybe next time we'll do the whole trail, a total of 10 miles!
To start things off, I actually had the day off. I didn't have a pack walk to lead or a training appointment. I didn't have any real obligations, so the first thing I did was a race! I signed up for the Monument Avenue 10k back in February when I figured I'd be completely healed fairly soon. Unfortunately, healing took longer than expected, and it was a bit of a scramble to get ready for it so quickly.
If you remember, I first ran the Monument Ave 10k last year, and it was my first official 10k ever. I was so proud of how well I'd done that I actually signed up for the marathon training team that very night. So, yeah. It was kind of a big deal. Originally, my goal was to try and run it in under 60 minutes, but by the middle of March I figured that probably wasn't going to happen. So, then I hoped to run it in the same amount of time as last year, 64:18. I was close at 65:23, but no cigar. Still, I'm happy with my time, as there were a few factors going into this race that slowed me down. First, I hadn't trained nearly as much. The farthest I'd run since January was 4-5 miles. Second, I'm a little heavier than I was last year. Not much, but it was enough to slow me down. Third, and this is the real kicker, was the heat. I was doing fine until about mile 4 when I was suddenly running in full sun. I had to slow down just because I thought I was going to be sick. All in all, though, a good race.
The race, however, is not what made it a great day. It's what Hans and I did after that made it so wonderful. Hans and I very rarely have a chance to escape the city. On the days where we're lucky enough to have off, we usually try to sleep and recuperate a little, but this day was different. This day, I wanted to do something fun. I wanted to escape the crowds and the noise. I wanted to take the chance to just breathe. So, we loaded the dogs in the car and drove up to our favorite spot in the mountains.
There were a few more people than I would have liked, but other than that it was just perfect. The trail was fairly quiet, the water was at a perfect level, and the weather was perfect. We hiked to our favorite spots and let the dogs play in the water. Lollie even took a moment to get her paws wet, which is a huge feat for this bulldog. Then we looked at the time, decided we had plenty of daylight left, and continued upward. We didn't go much farther, but it was just enough to make us happy and to tire out the pups.
In the end, we hiked a total of 4 miles (which means I'm pretty sure Cody did 8 from all the back and forth he was doing), and we had some stunning views. Unfortunately I left my camera in the car, so I don't have any pictures, but somehow I think that's preferable. A photo wouldn't do it justice.
Afterwards, we stopped at a small pizza place we'd been wanting to try for a while. It was quite good and the perfect end to a lovely day.
Really, though, the best part about yesterday was the fact that we took the time to do something for ourselves. Sure there was housework to do. Sure we could have used the rest. But doing housework or sleeping wouldn't have left us nearly as happy as what we ended up being after that hike. I can't wait until we have the chance to go back. Maybe next time we'll do the whole trail, a total of 10 miles!
Friday, April 12, 2013
Life is good
In case no one ever told you, owning your own business is hard. There are so many hopes and dreams riding on it. There are so many things to be watched over every second of the day. If you're a small business owner, like myself, your mind is filled with the day to day operations of the facility, plus marketing, plus current financial status, plus hopes for future financial status, plus employees, plus uniforms, plus inventory, plus, plus, plus. And the overwhelming thought is, "No one will love you like I do."
And it's true. No one, aside from maybe Hans, will love this kennel the way I do. No one will fret over it or try to care for it the way I do. No one will cry over it or laugh over it the way I do. No one will stay up at night dreaming about it the way I do. No one is willing to sacrifice sleep or social time for it the way I do.
This is a hard realization. Currently at the kennel, we are trying to find some people who can maybe take on an early morning or a late night shift. As much as I love my kennel, I also need a break, and so do some of my more dedicated employees. But interviewing some of these people can be so tiring. None of them seem to care! None of them seem to understand how important this place is to me, and the few employees who do seem to understand don't necessarily feel exactly the same way. So, I'm left struggling to find some balance in life. This is where I'm grateful for Hans.
One of the things I love best about running is how it gives me time to think. It helps me clear my mind and focus, which makes getting through the day much easier. If it weren't for Hans, I wouldn't have time for this. Hans is willing to get up early with me, go to the kennel, and let me go for a run. He sacrifices much-needed sleep, so I can have a moment of me-time. For this, I am grateful.
I am also extremely grateful that all our hard work seems to be paying off. I won't go so far as to say that life is easy...far from it, but life is far easier than it was a year ago. I'm able to watch and appreciate the fact that all my hopes and dreams seem to be coming true. I'm finally able to say that this business, this small child, is starting to learn to walk on its own.
So, to sum up this rambling post, life is good. Life is hard, certainly. But life is good. Who knows where I'll be next year. Maybe next year life will be even easier! But for now, at least I can say, life is good.
And it's true. No one, aside from maybe Hans, will love this kennel the way I do. No one will fret over it or try to care for it the way I do. No one will cry over it or laugh over it the way I do. No one will stay up at night dreaming about it the way I do. No one is willing to sacrifice sleep or social time for it the way I do.
This is a hard realization. Currently at the kennel, we are trying to find some people who can maybe take on an early morning or a late night shift. As much as I love my kennel, I also need a break, and so do some of my more dedicated employees. But interviewing some of these people can be so tiring. None of them seem to care! None of them seem to understand how important this place is to me, and the few employees who do seem to understand don't necessarily feel exactly the same way. So, I'm left struggling to find some balance in life. This is where I'm grateful for Hans.
One of the things I love best about running is how it gives me time to think. It helps me clear my mind and focus, which makes getting through the day much easier. If it weren't for Hans, I wouldn't have time for this. Hans is willing to get up early with me, go to the kennel, and let me go for a run. He sacrifices much-needed sleep, so I can have a moment of me-time. For this, I am grateful.
I am also extremely grateful that all our hard work seems to be paying off. I won't go so far as to say that life is easy...far from it, but life is far easier than it was a year ago. I'm able to watch and appreciate the fact that all my hopes and dreams seem to be coming true. I'm finally able to say that this business, this small child, is starting to learn to walk on its own.
So, to sum up this rambling post, life is good. Life is hard, certainly. But life is good. Who knows where I'll be next year. Maybe next year life will be even easier! But for now, at least I can say, life is good.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
You want to know something? I sometimes get concerned that I don't post enough about my pups. My posts used to always be about Cody and Lollie, but since I've opened the kennel, my posts about them of declined. This is mainly because there's nothing really new to post about them. Changes that happen happen gradually over time, so there's no big "Guess what happened!" moment. I'm in the kennel most days, and the routine is fairly the same, so I have no fun adventures to report. That said, it is high time you got an update on the life of the dogs.
Lollie
Lollie is doing extremely well. I am so amazed at all the progress she's made since she first came to us. She's still the timid one of my pups, but her confidence has really soared. She loves playing with the dogs in daycare, and when she's tired she's more than happy to either sleep in the sun or sleep under my desk. The kennel seems to be really good for her. She gets super excited whenever she realizes that's where we're going (even though we go there every day), and she starts barking and howling until she gets to the front door. It's really cute.
The biggest issues we're having with her are her allergies. They're AWFUL. I swear, I think she's allergic to sunlight. She is currently on a wheat, corn, soy, dairy, chicken, and beef-free diet. While that's helped a lot, I fear we may have to start cooking her food ourselves to cut out any preservatives as well. This is scary for two reasons. 1) I don't even have time to cook for myself! 2) It's much more expensive. I know we'll figure something out, but for now we're dealing with it one step at a time.
Cody
What can I say about Cody? Cody is my baby boy. He makes me smile every morning, and he keeps me warm every night. I can't imagine my life without Cody, and I can't believe he's 5 1/2 already.
Signs of maturity are starting to show on Cody. He doesn't play nearly as much. He'd much rather sleep than go in the yard with the dogs. He doesn't jump quite as high as he used to, and he wears out faster. Don't worry that he's becoming "old" though. He still does plenty of other things that help wear him out.
As I've resumed running, Cody has accompanied me. I could not have been happier the first run I did off the treadmill that was with Cody. I was worried that he'd tire too quickly. I figured he hadn't run in 3 months either, and I was worried about his stamina. I need not have feared. Cody ran 4 miles with me and was happier than ever. When we returned home, he ran up to bed, woke up Hans, and gave us both tons of kisses. Everything about him was happy and relaxed. He likes his runs as much as I do.
Cody is slightly less-enthused about the kennel. I know he'd prefer to be running on hiking trails and swimming in lakes. As the weather is getting warmer, I'm trying to find ways to get him out more, and I'm loving on him as much as possible. Sweet boy. I just want him to be happy.
All in all, life is good in the dog house. The kids are coming home dirty and tired each day, but they're getting lots of love, and they're happy overall. Heck, we're ALL dirty and tired at the end of the day, but we're happy to have each other.
Lollie
Lollie is doing extremely well. I am so amazed at all the progress she's made since she first came to us. She's still the timid one of my pups, but her confidence has really soared. She loves playing with the dogs in daycare, and when she's tired she's more than happy to either sleep in the sun or sleep under my desk. The kennel seems to be really good for her. She gets super excited whenever she realizes that's where we're going (even though we go there every day), and she starts barking and howling until she gets to the front door. It's really cute.
The biggest issues we're having with her are her allergies. They're AWFUL. I swear, I think she's allergic to sunlight. She is currently on a wheat, corn, soy, dairy, chicken, and beef-free diet. While that's helped a lot, I fear we may have to start cooking her food ourselves to cut out any preservatives as well. This is scary for two reasons. 1) I don't even have time to cook for myself! 2) It's much more expensive. I know we'll figure something out, but for now we're dealing with it one step at a time.
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| Lollie's looking at me, and asking, "Mom, why is she taking my picture?" |
What can I say about Cody? Cody is my baby boy. He makes me smile every morning, and he keeps me warm every night. I can't imagine my life without Cody, and I can't believe he's 5 1/2 already.
Signs of maturity are starting to show on Cody. He doesn't play nearly as much. He'd much rather sleep than go in the yard with the dogs. He doesn't jump quite as high as he used to, and he wears out faster. Don't worry that he's becoming "old" though. He still does plenty of other things that help wear him out.
As I've resumed running, Cody has accompanied me. I could not have been happier the first run I did off the treadmill that was with Cody. I was worried that he'd tire too quickly. I figured he hadn't run in 3 months either, and I was worried about his stamina. I need not have feared. Cody ran 4 miles with me and was happier than ever. When we returned home, he ran up to bed, woke up Hans, and gave us both tons of kisses. Everything about him was happy and relaxed. He likes his runs as much as I do.
Cody is slightly less-enthused about the kennel. I know he'd prefer to be running on hiking trails and swimming in lakes. As the weather is getting warmer, I'm trying to find ways to get him out more, and I'm loving on him as much as possible. Sweet boy. I just want him to be happy.
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| This is Cody's Easter Bunny impression. |
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| One big, happy family. |
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| Play with me! Play with me!! Play with me!!!! |
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| Buddies. |
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