Friday, December 30, 2011

Yes, I Am Still Alive


Yes, I am still alive.  I am sorry I have been M.I.A. lately, but things have been rough.  Nothing really bad has happened, in fact, quite a few good things have happened, but I have been struggling.  I've been lonely, but at the same time I really only want to be left alone.  I've been tired and lethargic.  I've been cranky. All I've wanted to do is hide under the covers and snuggle with the dogs.  Frankly, I've been depressed.

Hans and I have pretty much decided that I have a case of S.A.D. or Seasonal Affective Disorder.  This makes sense, seeing as I started going downhill as soon as cold weather set in, and this seems to be the case every year.  I thrive on the heat.  While living in a tropical climate year round would be difficult (I love having 4 seasons), anything below 80 degrees is hard for me.  This was not always the case.  I used to love winter as much as summer, but Minnesota cured me of that.  Minnesota is a beautiful state, and it has a lot going for it, but its winters are brutal and long.  I haven't viewed winter the same since my 4 years there (even though VA is about 50+ degrees warmer).  Anyway, winter has been difficult.  Let me fill you in.

Back in October (only a few posts ago), I mentioned I was sick.  Just before then I had trouble with my neck.  I haven't run since then.  In fact, I really haven't done much exercise of any kind since then.  As a result of that and the extra food I've been eating (I'm a sad eater), my clothes are tighter (or not fitting at all) and my self-esteem has kind of taken a nose-dive.  This is the worst for me.  I really enjoyed running, and I really want to get back into it.

Of course, with the cold and self-esteem stuff going on, re-motivating myself has been hard.  I say, "Just go out and do it" but then my body comes up with some excuse as to why I shouldn't.  I really need to work on that.

This post, however, is not meant to be a complete downer, though.  Plenty of good things have happened.

The biggest and best thing that has happened has been the recent addition to our family, Lollie!  Lollie is our newest dog.  She's a boxer / bulldog mix, she's quiet, and she gets along wonderfully with Cody.  I was not planning to get a new dog at all, but after training her for 2.5 months it was determined that she just was not a good fit for her owner, and I couldn't bear to give her up.  She's a timid creature, and she needs a stable environment, something her owner couldn't provide.  My life can be crazy, but at least she has a few constants.  I think she'll be a perfect fit here. (I'll have to post a picture some other time, though, because I don't have my camera with me right now).

I also accomplished one BIG goal.  I sewed my first article of clothing.  Hans knows the basics of sewing, and he taught me how to sew my own pajama pants.  It's something I've always wanted to do, and I'm thrilled that I did it.  Now I have a lot of projects to do.

Lastly, Hans and I are moving!!  Don't get too excited, we're only changing rooms.  We recently bought a larger bed (to accommodate for the extra dog), and we need to sleep in a larger room.  We should have it all set up by Saturday night, which means we'll get to ring in the New Year in a new bed.  Woo hoo!

Honestly, I'd love to share more, but I'm exhausted.  I promise I'll be back, and I hope it doesn't take me another month to get back here.  Thank you for being patient.