Have no fear. My little pity party is over. Right now, I'm just focused on trying to better myself and keep myself healthy. So, you know that little Lenten promise I made to myself to focus on my health and well-being? Yeah, I kind of failed at that. Here's the thing, working out makes me feel good. I may be tired afterwards and it may mean less sleep, but I feel good about myself when I do it. I do think I had taken things to an extreme and was over-doing it (not every work out needs to be 1+ hours), but I think I need those workouts just to stay sane.
When I made my little Lenten promise, I wasn't feeling good in the gym. I felt like I was neglecting my kennel duties, I was missing out on time with Cody, Lollie, and Hans, and I was so stressed over whether or not I had a "good" workout. I needed to take time off or at least cut back. In cutting back, however, I started to go to the opposite extreme. Sleeping in a little later turned into an inability to wake up on time, indulging in a little luxury food became gorging myself on chocolates, and cutting back from the gym became not working out at all or doing anything to keep up my strength and cardio. None of these are ways to stay healthy.
Finally, though, something snapped. I decided I couldn't live that way anymore, I had to start working out again, and I had to eat better. That's when I messaged my running buddies. My feet had been feeling good, I'd run a mile a couple of times, and it was time to stretch my legs and test things out a bit. As you know, things went well.
This morning I ran 4 miles- the farthest I've run since December and the same mileage I injured myself on. Things were hard. A four mile run used to seem like nothing, but this one seemed to last forever. Whereas I used to just be warming up at 4 miles, this time 4 miles left me wiped. Still, though, I think it was a good decision. I'm pain free this morning, and I'm encouraged knowing that, even though it was hard, I got through it.
I'm still upping the mileage slowly, but I'm feeling better. I'm feeling like I can do this. I'm feeling like my mind and my body are starting to work together again.