The Baby Issue

Here's the deal. Lately, I seem to be surrounded by babies. If not babies, then people who are pregnant or trying to be. Of course, for some reason, this means that plenty of people are asking me what my plans are, or, worse, assuming I'll be next. So, I thought I'd set the record straight.

It all started when a college classmate of mine became pregnant. Of course, at that time everyone kept saying they sure were glad it wasn't me. But then, my neighbor had a child, a coworker had a child, my SIL had a child and numerous other friends and relations are entering motherhood. So, maybe it's because I'm the only one in my close circle of friends who's married, or maybe it's because I actually like kids, but almost everyone I know, from friends to my ob/gyn, is assuming I have the baby-bug. I say "almost" because, thankfully, my parents and in-laws are quite happy with the way things are, and they are not bugging Hans or me for grandkids.

So, what are my thoughts on parenthood? I do want to be a mother...someday. That day is not today, not tomorrow, and probably not anytime in the next few years. My goodness, I'm only 23! There are still to many other things I want to accomplish before children come along. Besides, any mothering/nurturing needs that I may have I take out on Cody (making him the most spoiled pooch on the planet).

I have a business that I'm starting (also my baby), and trips I want to take. I'm nowhere near ready. Hans and I both have a lot of evolving to do, not just financially but physically and emotionally too. Heck, we can't even agree on how many children we may want (I liked being an ony child, he liked being in a family of 3). I know the saying goes, "First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage." The reality is something more like "First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the scramble for a steady, well-paying job, life-stability, and some feeling of purpose." At least, that's true in my life.

Like I said, yes I want children. And, yes, the goal is to have kids before I'm thirty. But, no, the goal is not to have one in the next nine months, so I would really appreciate it if everyone just understood that. Until that day, when someone says to me, "Oh look at you talking about your nephew (neighbor, friend, baby on the street, dog, etc.). I'm sure you'll be having a baby next." I'll just smile and laugh and say, "Oh, I doubt that" while actually thinking, "Good God! I hope not! Please don't let that happen yet! It wouldn't be fair."

Oh, and to all you mothers out there, no matter what your position is. Whether you're rich or poor, young or old, married or not, I think it's really cool that you are a mother. I respect you and I do think you're lucky. I'm just not ready to join your ranks. Not yet anyway!