Originally I had wanted this post to be a Lil' Tidbits post since I haven't done one in a while. I had a whole slew of things to comment on, but now that I'm at a computer I've completely forgotten what they are. Anyway, there is another topic I'm more than willing to talk about...how I felt yesterday.
I've posted previously that I've been trying to remove processed sugar from my diet. I recognized that I was somewhat addicted to it, and I knew I wouldn't start feeling better until it was greatly reduced or eliminated. So, I started cutting foods from my diet. They weren't off limits, but I did start taking extra time to think about things before I reached to eat them. Things were going really well.
Then this weekend happened. It actually started with Thursday, our anniversary. I made the monumental mistake of skipping breakfast. I hadn't meant to skip it, but somehow it happened. So, when lunch time came around, I was HUNGRY. I wanted something big, so on the way out of town Hans and I stopped at Arby's. I usually love Arby's, but this time, while my stomach was rejoicing for food, my mouth was repulsed. It wasn't nearly as good as I remembered. Cody got a few bites from it. After I ate, I almost immediately fell asleep. I awoke just in time for us to get to the coffee shop I know and love. That probably wasn't too good for me, but it was good tasting. I love that place.
Friday night was dinner with friends. Oh, the burger I got was sooooooo delicious, but as soon as the happily full from a tasty dinner feeling passed, I felt awful. I was hot and clammy, and I felt like vomiting. It wasn't much fun.
Saturday passed without incident, but Sunday was another meal out with friends. I got a salmon eggs benedict with fruit. Again, super tasty, but I didn't feel so great afterward. Then, the rest of the day I was craving something sweet. I wanted cake or cookies or something like that.
I noticed a few things about myself after eating all these things.
1) My mentality changed. I was much more down on myself. I had this feeling that I couldn't do anything right. Basically, negative voices were there and they were loud. Of course, this didn't help me in my workouts. I just couldn't get there mentally.
2) I was TIRED. Yesterday, I did nothing except sleep all day. I'm usually awake between 5:30 and 6:00 a.m., but yesterday I didn't wake up until 7:30. Then, I was still tired. I took at least two naps, and I could have slept more.
3) I felt icky. I was bloated and greasy and felt gross all over. It's not a good feeling.
4) I was cranky! Just ask Hans. I became snippy and short. I felt terrible, so I really didn't want to be around anyone.
Anyway, all these things got me to thinking. I really do need to cut all that processed food from my diet, but how realistic is it to do so? Do I really want to be one of those people who declares that she cannot eat out because they serve "poison?" Do I really want to be the person changing a perfectly tasty meal just so it fits all my standards? Can I imagine myself going to MN and not having cheese curds or Culver's? NO! I cannot.
However, I also can no longer see myself as the sort of person who will indulge in these things willy-nilly. I can see myself as the person who will pack groceries on a trip to the beach just so I know I'll have things that I like to eat (I'm already planning a menu). I can see myself as the person who will pass up a free cookie. I can see myself as the person who eats tons of fruits and veggies, and who is happy, and who feels good. I can definitely see myself as that person.
I can see myself as the person who may occasionally indulge in a little processed sugar, but who may limit her consumption. I can see myself as the person who understands that the processed sugar is going to make her feel bad, and who chooses to not indulge.
These changes, so far, are working too well for me to give up on. I like how I feel now. I like the energy and the attitude. Yes, I still crave chocolate pie, but I don't have to have it all the time. And if worse comes to worse, I'll simply make my own healthy version!