Today's run was...interesting. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't necessarily great either, though. Let me explain.
I signed up for MTT as a way to meet fellow runners. I wanted to meet people whom I could call on any given day and say, "Hey! Care to go for a run?" I wanted to make a new friend, create a new bond. On the first day, I met R.B. We chatted and got along quite nicely. Last week, while we didn't run together, I saw her after the run, and we had a nice chat. This past week, I met up with another runner from MTT. We had two training runs together, and it was pleasant having someone else to run with. Today, though, was different.
The problem with being on a beginner's team is that you're with beginners. You might be saying, "Well, duh!" but that's actually a problem. You see, there's a difference between beginning runners who really want to see themselves improve, who study their form, who read running stories, who research and exercise and eat as a way to improve their running, and beginning runners who are running just because their friends wanted them to or because they want to lose weight. I understand that I shouldn't take running to seriously. If it became more of a burden than a joy I would stop (and I have indeed skipped days for this reason), but part of the joy of running for me is learning all about it.
I love the idea of pushing my body to its limits and seeing how far it can go. I don't want to be able to carry a conversation through a 6 mile run. I want to listen to what my body is telling me. I want to finish knowing that I gave it my absolute all. I don't want to have regrets that I could have gone faster or could have gone farther. I want to learn how to understand the signals my body is telling me.
I want to learn about running. I want to read stories and study techniques. I want to learn of sprinters and ultramarathoners. I want to be able to picture myself doing something like that some day.
Not everyone is like that. Heck, most people AREN'T like that. Anyway, on my run this morning, I started with R.B., and things were pleasant. The conversation was nice, but I quickly found myself wanting to go a little faster. I could have kept the slower pace, though, except we were knit so tightly into the rest of the group. I don't like feeling confined like that, so I told R.B. I was going to run ahead. That was the last I saw of her.
A little later, I saw my running buddy from earlier this week. We chatted for a bit as well, but eventually the same thing happened. I passed her too.
I finished the run on my own. I got some water, I signed out, and I went to look at shirts for sale. As I saw and listened to all the people chatting, I started to feel lonely. I started to wish that I was running this with my best friend or my husband or my sister-in-law (I'd say sister except I don't have one), or even a coworker. I waited for R.B. for a while, but I started to feel self-conscious just standing around while everyone else was chatting, so I got in my car and I drove off.
My time could have been a little better, but it wasn't bad either. I'm not disappointed in it anyway. My only disappointment today is that Hans wasn't with me. That would have been nice.
Oh well. Hopefully next week will be better. Maybe next week I'll stick with R.B. Maybe next week, she'll stick with me. :)