Friday, August 5, 2011


Hans and I have decided to join a gym.  We have a lot of equipment in our home already, but the one thing we don't have (and certainly can't afford) is a pool.  So, we've joined Gold's Gym. 

One thing I hate about the gym is actually having to use the machines.  Unless it's one I'm extremely familiar with, I feel like all eyes are on me as I figure out how the machine works.  I need to schedule an appointment with one of the trainers so I can be shown, but until then I'm working out in the Cinema room (a fantastic room that shows movies and is dark so no one can see you).  I'm actually really proud of myself for how secure I am in the pool.  I still don't LOVE walking around in my swimsuit, but I'm not terrified to remove my towel either.

ANYWAY, I was shocked when we signed up for the gym because Hans did not react the way I'd expected.  I was talking about using ellipticals and doing different classes, and Hans said he really only wanted the pool, and he wasn't sure he'd keep it up, and he may just forfeit his membership at the end of his trial period.  I kind of understood this, but I wanted to give the gym a fair shot, so I devised a plan to get us there at least 4 times in the week.  Yesterday, the plan was to go to a class.

Hans  He was going to do it for me, but he was visibly nervous, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.  Then, it hit me.  He was insecure.  He didn't want to stick out, and he was afraid of looking like a fool.  I was amazed.  Here was Hans, my personal Buddha, worrying about what other people thought. He's never been worried about things like that (or so I thought), but here he was...worrying.  That's when I realized that we're all worried about what others think, but most of us are too busy worrying about ourselves to look at others.  That's something I'm going to be thinking a lot about when I'm feeling not-so-confident.

Oh, and just so you know, we were late getting to the class, so we went to the Cinema Room instead (Insecurities Be Gone!), and then to the pool. 

Speaking of insecurities, less than a month ago, I signed up to run my first ever 5k.  The date is next Saturday.  For some people, a 5k is nothing, but for me it's HUGE.  It's the first step to attaining some large goals of mine.  Part of me is super excited.  I've really been enjoying running with my Up & Running plan (seriously, if any of you are considering it, you should do it.  It's amazing), and I think I'll be able to run the whole thing, even if I run it slow.

But then I think, "What if I can't?"  What if there are more hills than what I'm used to?  What if it's hot and really sunny?  What if I come in dead last?  While I know that it's fine if I walk a portion, I really want to run the whole thing.  What if I can't?

Basically, there's this constant battle in my head, becoming more vicious and much bloodier as the days pass, between my positive attitude and my insecurities.  So, I'm asking all of you.  What do you do when you're feeling not-so-confident?  How do you overcome the evil mind demons?  Any tips are greatly appreciated!


  1. Good luck with the 5K! Just don't stop! Going slower is better than stopping; I think it's just one of those things that never is ultimately fun (at least the whole way through) AS you're doing it, but once you have it done and behind you, the pride and knowledge that you DID it is so fulfilling. At least, that's how I feel after every race. And I always hit a wall at some point during the run, but I try to never stop and walk.

    I think you should take pride in the little steps and decisions you make every day: the very fact that you signed up for the gym and made a point of going a certain number of days a week is already one. Lots of people would just not even attempt to try.

    I think you'll have a great time at the 5K--hopefully it's not too hot!

  2. Don't even think negative. Tell yourself to shut up like I do. Haha. You are going to do so amazing on that 5K! You've made through the course by then, and you've prepared all you can. Just get out there and I know you will rock it! And I fully expect a blog post about it! Haha. :)