Breathe

Thursday was a busy day.  I knew it would be busy, but I also knew it would be worth it.  It would be worth it because Friday we were planning to go to the beach.

I knew I needed the vacation.  I was tired and worn down.  I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.  I was unbelievably tired, and I kind of felt like I was going to cry at any moment.  I needed a moment to just relax.  On Friday, Hans and I along with our neighbors and our friend, Shannon, loaded up our cars and headed down.  Things are busy around here, so I had planned on getting some work done.  I had visions of me leisurely sending emails from my laptop, of reading on the back deck, of going for long runs and bike rides, of getting in some great ab and upper-body workouts on the beach, and of relaxing with some yoga. 

Within thirty minutes of leaving, though, something happened.  I actually took a breath.  I took one deep breath, and I knew that nothing was going to get done this weekend.  I didn't want to cook or work out or send emails.  I did kind of want to do yoga, but I'm not very proficient at yoga, and I didn't want to have to follow a DVD or magazine.  I took this long list of things that I had planned, and I threw things out like they were trash.  I didn't want to look at a computer...Trash!  I did want to go for a run...Save!  I didn't want to worry about my abs...Trash!  I did want to finish a book...Save!  After all this, I found that I was actually able to breathe.

For the first time in a while, I felt like some of the pressure had been lifted.  I found myself laughing a lot.  I felt well-rested, and yet I still found myself dozing off in the middle of the afternoon...just because I could.  There were a lot of emotions that came with this trip too (for reasons I can't quite explain), and I need to take some time to process it all, but this trip was perfect.  It was perfect weather, perfect food, perfect company, and perfect timing.

I'm back home now, and I know that things will get busy again.  I know that work will be hectic and overwhelming at times.  I know that sleep will not always come so easily.  I know that not everything can always be that perfect.  However, I also know that trip was like a breath of fresh air for the soul.  I feel renewed and refreshed.  I feel like I can breathe.