WARNING: Prepare for a rant.
Last night, I was talking with some dear friends. At some point someone mentioned another friend and how they couldn't do certain things because things were really hard for them at the moment. Well, I apparently had a bit of a reaction to this. I became surprisingly angry.
Life is hard. Life is hard for EVERYONE!
Do you know how sick I am of hearing that someone doesn't have time to walk their dog? Or exercise? Or go grab a cup of coffee with a dear friend who's willing to meet you half way? How do you think I do it? Do I have more time in the day than you? Let me tell you about my life.
I'm generally up between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. If I'm not showering and going straight to work I'm going out for an early morning run / swim / bike ride. On the rare occasion I have a morning off, I feel guilty for sleeping in until 7:00, 8:00, or 9:00 because I could be cleaning or running errands or doing something else productive, but by golly sleep is nice on occasion!
If I happen to have a morning off from work, it's often spent checking and responding to work emails or trying to get the house in order. Then, I'm at work from 2:00 pm until 9:30 pm (often later), so getting to bed early before my next 4:30 a.m. alarm really isn't an option.
On extremely rare and extremely planned occasions where Hans and I have more than a day off, we do not spend them sleeping or hiking or lounging about. We spend them with family or friends because that's the only time we have for them. Time for ourselves really is not a luxury we can afford.
The mornings I'm at work by 5:30 or 6:00 am, the earliest I'll ever leave is 7:00 pm, and again that's if I'm lucky.
Due to the nature of my job, I'll never have a holiday off on the true holiday. Thanksgiving was not spent sleeping or eating turkey or watching football. It was spent catching up on paperwork followed by a nap on a dog bed in the kennel. Oh, and I'm still behind on paperwork (although not nearly as far behind). And don't even get me started on preparing for the next holiday. I have no idea when we'll decorate for Christmas!
It is not unusual for me to work 80-90 hours a week, and while I LOVE what I do I could sometimes use a break, particularly when morning sickness is setting in.
If you come over and see a partially clean house, it's not because I'm a great housekeeper. It's because I scrambled and stayed up half the night cleaning, so things could look presentable for you.
If you come to visit and we go out to a fancy / decent restaurant, that's not how I normally dine. It's because you're an honored guest, but I'm still too tired to cook. I'm generally lucky if I get take away Chinese or pizza, and I'm extremely lucky if Hans was able to get home early enough to cook a frozen meal (think Skillet Sensations or frozen pizza).
All these things are not said to make you sorry for me. While I sometimes have meltdowns (usually sleep related) I, for the most part, love my life. I'm proud of and pleased with the decisions I've made, and there's very little I'd change. That said, I am sick and tired of people saying they can't do things because life is hard. No shit, Sherlock! Life is hard for everyone. You know who really has it bad off?
The woman whose husband left her after she was diagnosed with a chronic illness that leaves her at an extreme risk for injury and heat stroke.
The woman who's working 2 full time jobs yet still worries about feeding her kids or keeping a roof over their head.
The man who is caring for his sick spouse.
The woman diagnosed with cancer and given only months to live.
The family that woman leaves behind.
They all have it way harder than any of us. When you say, "I just don't have time" what you're really saying is "That is not a priority for me right now." When you say, "Sorry, life got in the way" you're really saying, "I chose to put other things ahead of you." I'm not saying those are bad things to do. Sometimes your sleep and your health are more important than that coffee date, but let's call a spade a spade shall we. It has nothing to do with life being difficult. It has everything to do with us having different priorities. I'm OK with that. I really am. I just want the truth out if it.
So, in conclusion, quit saying life is too hard. Quit making excuses. Tell the truth...you don't care about this thing as much as that OR just get off your ass and do something about it!
Thank you for listening to my rant!