Anxious

Can I be honest with you?

I've been suffering from some pretty gnarly anxiety.

The kind that stops you in your tracks.  The kind that makes it hard to breathe.  The kind that leaves you unbelievably exhausted by the end of the day, yet also leaves you feeling like you've accomplished nothing.

What am I anxious over?  Pretty much everything.  I'm anxious that things won't go well at the kennel.  I'm anxious over an upcoming trip.  I'm anxious about how I'm raising Anna (which then makes me cranky and then makes me anxious because I'm cranky).  I'm anxious over the thought that something might happen to those I love.  I'm anxious over my health.  I'm anxious over the weather.  I'm anxious over the dogs and their health and how the weather is affecting them.

Running usually helps, and on the days that I run I feel exponentially less anxious.  On the days I run long distances I'm significantly happier.  On the days I run long distances and follow it up with a relaxing breakfast, I'm over the moon.  However, that only happens a couple times a week, and I'm anxious every day.

Honestly, I don't think there's much of a point to this post.  I just have to take a moment to recognize and confront this anxiety.  I also want people to know that, even if you see I strong, confident woman (and I sincerely hope you do), I'm often a hot mess on the inside.  I'm also human, and it would be wrong to assume that things in life don't affect me.

Thanks for listening.