In short, things have not been going well. After my last post, Mom had a fall. I'm not entirely clear what happened, but she'd had a long, exhausting day, and I think she just lost her balance. The fall combined with the long days left her in A LOT of pain. She didn't want to do therapy, and the pain often left her befuddled and confused. There has been more than one time where I've left her in tears simply because it's been difficult to watch her decline.
To put it simply, THIS SUCKS.
The worst part is that I have no idea what to expect. Will she start to get better, or will she only continue to decline? This morning she was actually doing a little better, but I can't tell if that's more of a permanent thing or just a brief window of clarity. Also, how long will everything take? Chemo starts on Monday. Will she improve like she did last year, or will she merely be additionally weakened from chemo? I don't know if I should even get my hopes raised. I'm trying not to, but hope seems to be the only thing I have.
In addition to all that, I'm trying to figure out her financial situation and make sure she has decent care no matter what. Can I just put out there that long term care insurance would be really helpful right about now?
Yeah, it's been hard. I could probably handle things if all I had to worry about was Mom, but then I also have Anna and the business. Thank God things are running fairly smoothly with them! My point is that I have these terrible emotional tugs. Anna celebrated her 1st birthday. YAY! Mom wasn't feeling well enough to go. Not yay. We took the party to Mom and she actually ate quite a bit. YAY! Yesterday Mom didn't want to even look at food. Not yay. Anna has been really loveable and giving lots of hugs. YAY! Taking Anna to even visit Mom is difficult, because Anna wants to crawl, and there's no place for me to set her down. Not yay.
So, it hasn't been easy. We're getting through, but it hasn't been easy.
Oh no! Is there anyone on your mom's side of the family who can help ease this burden? Siblings, close friends, etc.? You never mentioned your father, but is he someone who would step in and help?
ReplyDeleteLike you said, if that's all you had to do, it might be manageable, but for a young mom AND taking care of a business/family...this is just too much. I hope you can come up for some air and that SOMEONE will step in and help you out! Best wishes.
I continue to think about your mother and pray for her peace. Although I have not met her, I have a deep respect and admiration for her. I get that this is a challenging time for all of you and i wish there was something more tangible i could do. Please give her my heartfelt blessings and great big hugs.
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