A Letter To My Daughter

My Dear Anna,

I can't believe you will be 15 weeks old tomorrow.  You have already grown so much.  It seems like just yesterday you were a tiny 6 lb 2 oz, yet you are now roughly 14 lb.  We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks, and I'm terrified by what the scale will say.  How could you have grown so big so fast?

Life has not been fair to you so far.  What should be a fun, joyous time of us learning each other, has turned into a fairly hectic, somewhat stressed time overshadowed with illness.  You, my darling daughter, have been a trooper through it all.  While other babies only sleep for 40 minutes at a time, you sleep for a minimum of 7 hours each and every night.  You've had nights where your dad and I have had to keep you up late so we can accomplish tasks, yet you haven't complained.  You've had long days spent at the kennel with barking dogs all around you, yet you're generally quite happy about it.  Sure you've had your bad days, but what baby doesn't?  You're starting to teethe, and you sometimes have tummy troubles, but all in all you're wonderful.

My favorite times are those where you just want me, your Mommy.  Today was one of those days.  You just wanted to see me and be around me.  Daddy held you this morning, yet you cried until I was in your sight, talking to you.  Mary Beth, our groomer, held you this afternoon, and while she can usually make you smile and laugh, you cried until you were back in my arms.  I was greeted with giggles and snuggles, and they warmed my heart.

I want to apologize if I seem stressed.  I want to apologize for not being able to dedicate all my time to you.  I worry constantly that these stresses may affect you negatively in the long run.  I hate the days where I am so exhausted that all I can do is hand you off to your dad and say, "Take her.  I'm off duty."  It generally has little to do with you.  More often it's simply life that's leaving me so tired. 

Know that I have loved every moment with you.  Even the moments where you're screaming and I can't figure out why I tend to find humor in.  Even though for the first few weeks I was pretty sure you only knew me as Moo Cow.  Even though I've had exhausting days where it's all I can do to nurse and change you, I've loved every moment.  Thank you so much for being so wonderful.

Love,

Mom